Name: Alyssa Kleven

Place of birth: Albany, OR

What was your first concert? The Manhattan Transfer at the Oregon State Fair – my mother gets treated well.

What band/artist would provide the soundtrack for the movie of your life? hella. or the rev. al green.

What is your drink of choice to close the night? tazo refresh tea.

What do you like to do before you go to bed? Brush my teeth, set out my clothes for the next day, say goodnight to my stuffed animals.

Who would you most want to fight (living/dead/historical/fictional)? The Dalai Llama, you know, to stir things up.

If you played a sport, what position and for what team would you play? Curling. I’d be the person that sweeps in front of the ball. [Editors note - Let not Alyssa's complete ignorance of the majesty of indoor ice sports reflect poorly on the rest of Vitriol. Alyssa's not a native Minnesotan and can't be held accountable. We know it's actually called a stone.]

If you could prevent the existence of one band/artist, who would it be and why? Britney. her celebrity has resulted in me knowing, not only more than I need to about her personal life, but now Jamie’s personal life too. when will it end?

What would be your weapon of choice if forced to compete in a real-life Street Fighteresque underground fighting ring? I would like to have the power to not bruise easily.

What is your favorite flavor of Snapple? I don't drink Snapple. Sorry Wendy.

If you were going to die in a week, how would you like to go? A tragic track ‘n field hurdling-event incident.

What multi-hyphenated genre of music should exist that doesn't (yet)? underground-commercial-loud-unaccommodating-easy listening-folk-rock

What office supply can you not live without? Neon gel pens.

What are you better at than most anybody else? Being awesome. Writing hilarious e-mails.

What do you do when you're angry? Track ‘n field: hurdles.

What is the greatest benefit of knowing Jesse Stensby? Getting to hang out with his dog, Marco.